My Father was a gifted—and entirely self-taught—musician. He took great pleasure in music of all kinds—an affinity he passed onto his children and grandchildren. My early memories include my Father accompanying us on school field trips to Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra performances, playing Bluegrass tunes on his old banjo, serenading my siblings and I—and later, his grandchildren—on his harmonica, and joyfully strumming his prized Gibson electric guitar during impromptu Saturday evening jam sessions with his brothers. Though his hands were work-worn and calloused, my Father’s fingers nimbly coaxed joyful tunes from any instrument he picked up. Even after he was forced to sell his beloved Gibson during a rough patch in our large family’s finances, Dad made do with an old acoustic guitar.

Because my Father worked a demanding, physical job and would often spend his evenings and weekends working around our house on countless projects, he didn’t have a great deal of leisure time to indulge his passion for music. And yet, even while he toiled away in his basement workshop, his cheerful whistling would filter through the house or he would accompany the hammering, drilling, and sawing with a song. “(How Much is That Doggie) in the Window” was my favorite! Though, in my younger years, I may not have appreciated his album collection—which included selections from legendary Bluegrass banjoist Earl Scruggs and rhythm guitarist Lester Flatt, John Philip Sousa’s rousing, patriotic marches, and symphonic highlights from the “Victory at Sea” television series—I have now come to treasure these vinyl heirlooms.

Though I have never learned to play an instrument, music is as much a part of my life today as it was growing up in our bustling, crowded, and music-filled household. I’m convinced that I have my Father to thank for my own openness to nearly all musical genres. I am even more gratified to see that my Father’s musicality has also been reborn in younger generations of my family. One of my nephews took up the guitar, formed a band with several friends, and played at local venues. Another nephew and niece are gifted flautists who have also played in their high school bands. Two other nieces have been blessed with amazing voices. This musical continuity is a gift my entire family treasures.

In homage to my Father’s musicality and in loving tribute to his memory, I proudly display his banjo in my family room. Gracing a well-lit corner, it sits, nestled in its open case, topped by one of the “Sunday best” hats which complemented the suit and tie ensembles my Father would always wear to church. This decorative nod also serves as a visual reminder of the musical legacy which runs through our family—just one of the many binding ties between past and future generations. While many of us retain treasured family heirlooms, decorating our homes with them may seem a bit maudlin to some. And yet, incorporating at least one of our parent’s, grandparent’s or other ancestor’s prized possessions into our home’s décor may serve as a prompt for sharing family stories with younger relatives. Even the most common belongings and household items can hold layers of meaning. And keeping those intangible memories intact for generations to come is one of the most important—and often overlooked—methods of embracing our families’ unique heritage.

Today I came across an article about a new trend that takes this concept a step further, websites that allow you to create your own multi-media memorials and leave messages to be communicated to loved ones after your death. This reminds me of a news story I saw years ago, about a young mother dying of cancer  who was recording video messages for her children to watch on special occasions: their graduations, weddings, birth of their babies. I remember marveling at that woman’s foresight and fortitude, her grace at leaving such a gift for her children. And I remember thinking what a shame it was that most people in the same situation would not be able to do this. So now, sites like I-Postmortem.com aim to make it easy for everyone to create their own memorials and posthumous messages, whether they are old and ailing, or young and healthy.

I spent some time on this site, and their sister site, I-Tomb, and I’m still trying to process the concept. It seems like a good idea, but I wonder if the websites will really address the key obstacle to leaving what is essentially a cyber-legacy letter – just doing it. I mean, if it were easy to commit your wishes and wisdom to permanent format, wouldn’t everybody do it? It’s one reason our Words To Live By: Writing Your Legacy Letter workshop is so well-received – we give participants more than just the tools to write their letter. The workshop provides the motivation, time and space to actually do it.

I am also reminded of an episode of This American Life, The Parent Trap, that shows the potential pitfalls of letters from beyond the grave, particularly those that contain “instructions”. If you have a few minutes, and are thinking about this issue, I really encourage you to listen to this piece.

Then, let us know. What do you think? What kind of messages would you like to leave for your children or other loved ones? Do you think the online method has potential, or do you prefer the old-fashioned paper and pen approach? We’d love to know.

~ Kristi

Given the tremendous pop culture presence generated by UK-based reality series such as “Who Wants to be a Millionaire,” “Dancing with the Stars,” and “What Not to Wear,” even those who don’t watch much television can’t help but be aware of these programs. One of the most recent offerings to enter the ratings fray is the Americanized version of Britain’s genealogy-related show, “Who Do You Think You Are?” Exploring the family histories of popular celebrities such as Tim McGraw, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lionel Ritchie, Steve Buscemi, and Gwyneth Paltrow, among others, this series has garnered enough audience share to merit a third season, slated to begin in February 2012.

Watching as Rosie O’Donnell visits an Irish potato famine-era workhouse, Tim McGraw discovers an ancestor’s connection to George Washington, and Vanessa Williams learns that her great-great grandfather was one of the first African Americans to be elected to the Tennessee legislature has been both moving and inspiring. After each viewing, I ponder my own quest to discover more about who I am by discovering who my ancestors are. I have been doggedly pursuing every lead, hoping to uncover that one fact, photo, or document which will fill out the branches of my growing family tree.

While I enjoy watching these stories unfold and feel genuine excitement and happiness for the subjects as their ancestors come to life through images, archival records, and newspaper articles, I would really love to see the show’s producers include the genealogical journey of a non-celebrity. As Kristi and Jennifer’s Webpage banner simply—but eloquently—states, “Every Life Has Stories.” Truly, each of us has family stories which are just as meaningful as any one of the made-for-TV episodes featured on “Who Do You Think You Are!”

And yet, how many of us will choose to document and preserve these stories? Who do you think you are, and how do you plan to find out?  At the beginning of this New Year, how will you chronicle the past, present, and ongoing stories, experiences, and memories which will form the combined record of your life and the collective record of your family? And perhaps an even more important consideration—how do you plan to preserve this information and pass it along to future generations?

~ Jan Mueller

But today, after a one year hiatus, I was lucky to be on hand to take a “First Day of Work” photo before my college sophomore headed out for the first day of his co-op job, dressed in “business casual”. Less surly than his teen years, the expression he put on for the photo was more resigned “okay, Mom” than “woo-hoo, I’m so excited about this new chapter in my life”. If you have teen boys, you may be familiar with the “whatever” attitude. In any case, I snapped the photo quickly, where he stood, and let him be on his way. I think I was more nervous than he was about the big day, and I can’t wait to get home tonight and see how it went.

In the meantime, I dug out his very first “First Day” photo, taken when he was barely three years old, and just starting preschool, and let the memories of the past 16 years wash over me. That first day, and for many days after that, the teacher had to hold him up to the window, so he could watch me go, both of us waving and trying, with varying degrees of success not to cry. How can it be that he is 16 years older and yet I am not? If I didn’t have the photos to prove it, I wouldn’t believe it myself. They are a piece of our family history that will last forever.

How about you guys – do you take traditional photos? First day of school? Kids in front of the Christmas Tree? Share your ideas with us, will you?

~ Kristi

So, the calendar has turned over and we are into the graduation year! We told you this year would fly by! How is your memory gathering coming along? Don’t worry if your efforts stalled over the holidays; there is plenty of time to get back on track. But we highly recommend you don’t wait until the very last minute. The end of Senior Year is likely to be jam packed with activities, events and parties and you want to be able to savor the moments. So, this month we bring you ideas to keep you busy this winter.

As always, you can catch up on our tips from past months by visiting our August, September, October, November or December newsletters.

Focus on…extracurriculars

This month let’s focus on extracurriculars, all those activities that consume your senior’s life outside of the classroom. Think about sports, clubs, work, volunteer commitments, church or synagogue participation, etc.

• What clubs/activities is your senior involved in at school? What about outside of school?
• See if the yearbook staff at your son or daughter’s school has pictures of the club or club activities they would be willing to share with you.
• When you attend an events, save programs, competition numbers, registration forms and other souvenirs from your senior’s experience with these activities.
• Jot down a special memory your teen has regarding the activity, maybe the time his team won a tournament or raised a lot of money at a fundraiser.
• Save any write-ups from the events (sports, concerts, plays, etc.) your teen participates in. Check newspapers, community magazines, and websites. Clip articles from publications or print the pages if the articles are online. Drop these items into your file or envelope.

Go out of your way to take photos of these events, or ask a friend to share photos they have taken.

Looking back…family

You’ve gathered information about friends, and favorites , now is a good time to be sure you have not neglected your family ties.

• Collect some photos of your extended family over the years. Do you have photos of your teen with a grandparent or other relative who is no longer living?
• Can you create a simple three or four generation family tree, with full names, birth (and death) dates and places? It doesn’t have to be fancy, the information is what’s important right now.
• Does your senior have a cousin or other relative that he or she is especially close to?  Are there photos of them together over the years?
• This is the perfect time to dig up those embarrassing bath time photos of your senior when they were young!
• Have you had professional photos taken of your family? Gather these and other snapshots of your whole family together so your senior can see how his or her family has grown over the years. Or so they can appreciate the awkward family photos (Have you seen this entire website devoted to www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com? They even have contests with prizes.)

What’s Happening This Month?

Here is a list of events that may be occurring in your senior’s life this month and ideas on how to capture the moments.  As always, be aware of everyday photo opportunities, and consider jotting your own thoughts and feelings down on index cards or in a notebook. 

• Winter Sports  – Basketball and other winter sports are in full swing now. How is the team doing so far?  Did you save a copy of the schedule, clip any preseason newspaper articles, etc. Next time you go to a game, turn the camera around and take a picture of the fans in the stands, or better yet, ask a friend to snap a photo of you and the other parents cheering.
• College news – How is this process going? Is a final college visit in the works? Has there been some good news, or even a decision? Be sure to save the acceptance email and/or letter and packet, and maybe the rejection letters as well. (Someday they will be able to look at those with perspective.) Print a copy of the email or webpage confirming their deposit or housing request. Take a picture of your child at the computer with the acceptance page in view.
• First Semester Grades – Are there any signs of Senioritis yet or is your teen staying on track? Be sure to save the grade report and any notes from teachers, good or bad.
• Pulling Away – For many parents, this is the time that signs of tugging on the apron strings are becoming noticeable. We have even heard it said that these final six months before your child goes to college are specifically designed by nature so you will actually be happy when they leave! Have you noticed changes in your teen’s behavior and attitude? How are you handling new demands for independence? Is your curfew still in place or have you relaxed it a bit?
• Or not – Alternatively, some parents find their students draw closer and begin to exhibit signs of apprehension about the coming life change. Now might be a good time to write down some thoughts about these conflicts or fears, because in the world of young adults these issues may be fleeting.
• Finally, what about you? While your Senior is very likely to be completely consumed with their own life right now, you certainly have your own thoughts, feelings, joys and fears as you head into the home stretch of high school. Are you feeling particularly nostalgic as this year comes to a close? Take a few moments to jot down your thoughts or feelings as you move through the final months of this important school year.

Happy Holidays! The holiday season is all about family, so in-between bouts of gift shopping, take some time to gather some family memories for your senior.  Or if you’re just now getting some free time after a busy fall, maybe take some time to catch up on the tips from our past newsletters! (Click here to review August, September, October and November.)

Focus on…Holiday Traditions

Every family has some holiday traditions or favorite holiday stories. Take some time this year to document yours.

• Do you always take a picture of the kids in front of the tree? Or the pile of gifts first thing Christmas morning? Collect some favorite photos of your senior over the years at holiday celebrations.
• Do you have any interesting family traditions? Do you sing carols? Drive around the see the lights? Write (or have someone else write) a description of your tradition, or tell a story about one year.
• Was there a particularly good (or disastrous) year? Kristi’s family still talks about the year the turkey didn’t cook and Christmas dinner consisted of tamales and side dishes. The year Jennifer’s ornaments were in storage her family made all their ornaments out of paper.
• Write about or find pictures of your senior’s favorite gifts from when he or she was young. How did they react when they opened their gifts? One of our favorite stories is the four-year old boy, still enthralled with Santa’s power, who exclaimed over each and every gift “Oh! Ninja Turtle underwear! This is exactly what I wanted!”
• What special gifts have you received from your senior over the years?
• Is there a traditional gift you give every year? The annual holiday PJs?
• Any photos of your kids playing in the snow? Did they build a snowman or go sledding?
• Have you ever spent the holidays away from home or taken any post-holiday trips? Find some of those photos and write a memory about them.

How many times this month have you heard “But Mom, next year I’ll be at college and you won’t even know what time I come home!” Or “Dad, I’m an adult now; I can make my own decisions!” Do you catch yourself sounding like your own parents… “As long as you live in my house…” or “You’re an adult when you’re paying your own way.”  If this sounds like your house then you might be the parent of a high school senior.

No matter how aggravating they are right now, you’ll miss your little birdies when they fly away, so thanks again for joining us on our journey to capture these memories! As always, you can catch up on our tips from past months by visiting our August, September or October newsletters.

Focus on…Friends:

Last month we suggested focusing on your teen’s “Favorites”. For November, why not gather information about the most important favorites in your teen’s life – their friends. As it begins to hit them that everyone will be moving on soon, your son or daughter is probably beginning to cherish those times with friends even more.

Here are a few ideas for capturing the memories of friends:

• Map It: Google Maps and Mapquest both have features in which you can place “pins” at various locations and add descriptors about that location. It might be fun to have the names and addresses of your son or daughter’s best friends or favorite hangouts all mapped out.
• Facebook: The most popular social networking site can be a treasure trove of photos of high school kids and their friends. And they recently introduced the option of downloading high resolution versions of the photos posted, which makes it a perfect way to access photos you might not otherwise see. But of course there’s the issue of access. If you are friends with your teen on Facebook, congratulations! That is a special privilege. But if you haven’t been granted that access or aren’t on Facebook at all, you might need help from a friend or sibling. Once you’re in, grab a Print Screen (there should be a button for that on your computer keyboard) of their Profile page and their Wall, just as a snapshot in time. Then take a look for photos tagged with your Senior’s name and see if there some you’d like to print or save on your computer.
• Grab a partner: If you haven’t already done so, ask one of his or her friends to be your partner on this memory journey. The right friend can help you gather memories from kid-only events, including photos and captions or descriptions.
• Then and Now: Are there friends who have been in your teen’s life for years? Some of the most poignant photos are the then and now photos of two (or more) friends over the years.
• Solicit messages: Before it gets too close to the craziness of graduation, now might be a good time to ask a few special friends to write a message to your son or daughter about what that friendship has meant to them. Not every teen will feel comfortable doing this, but it might be worth a try.

Looking Back:

As you gather memories and photos of activities this month, think back to past years and collect some that will make a nice “Then and Now” contrast to current photos. What about…

• Fall Clubs
• Fall sports tournaments
• Fall music, art or drama events
• Friends through the years
• Thanksgiving celebrations

What’s Happening This Month?

Here is just a partial list of events that may be occurring in your senior’s life this month and ideas on how to capture the moments. As always, be aware of everyday photo opportunities, and consider jotting your own thoughts and feelings down on index cards or in a notebook.

•  The End of Fall Sports – continued from October.Fall tournaments are coming to a close – did your team make it into late rounds?  Did you save clippings, programs, rankings?  Was there an Awards Event? You can take photos of trophies, or scan award certificates or plaques.
• College applications – continued from October. The due dates are approaching rapidly – some of the early decision dates have come and gone! How is this process going? Are they still making last minute college visits? Has there been any early news of acceptances? Be sure to save the acceptance email and packet, and maybe the rejection letters as well. (Someday they will be able to look at those with perspective.) Save a copy of their essays. Take a photo of your Senior clicking the SUBMIT button to their favorite college.
• Teacher Conferences – Did you have one last round of teacher conferences? How did those go? How did you feel?
• First Quarter Grades – Are there any signs of creeping Senioritis yet or is your teen keeping their nose to the grindstone? Be sure to save the grade report and any notes from teachers, good or bad.
• Save the Bad Stuff – No child is perfect -  save any detention slips, traffic tickets or other “bad news”. Someday you will all be able to laugh about it, and maybe even prove to your grandchildren that their mom or dad wasn’t perfect.
• Thanksgiving – How will your family be celebrating Thanksgiving? Does your teen help cook? Are there special family recipes you want to share with them? Will there be special family members that you want to take a photo with your teen?
• Winter Sports – As a new season gets underway, take a photo of your teen in practice garb – before and after practice to illustrate their hard work. Save a copy of the written schedule for workouts and games,  preseason newspaper articles, etc.

Special of the Month:

Plan Ahead and Get Your Project on Our Busy Spring Calendar! Pay your deposit for your graduation book or poster project before December 31 and get a free second copy of the final product. (Up to $60 value.)

Contact us today to get started

Senior Year should be in full swing by now – we’ve even heard news of some college acceptances already. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. There are still plenty of memories to be made and moments to be captured. This month brings Homecoming and Halloween, and a focus on favorites.

As always, you can catch up on our tips from past months by visiting our August or September newsletters.

Focus on…Favorites:

Last month we suggested creating a mini time capsule of your Senior’s day to day life. For October, how about continuing on this path by capturing all the “Favorites” in your teen’s life? Though they might not believe it now, one day they will forget these simple pleasure that are so important to them today. For example, what is their favorite…

• Television show – Is there a “must see” TV show for your teen and his or her friends? A few years ago it might have been Gossip Girl, but now do they all watch Jersey Shore?
• Movies – What movie has she seen this month? What are his favorite movies of all time?
• Music – What are her latest downloads? (Take a photo of the device she plays them on.) Has he been to any concerts recently? See if you can grab a copy of the ticket stub, or download a photo or schedule from the band’s website.
• Restaurant – Take a photo of the outside of the restaurant(s) your teen frequents, and/or a picture of them enjoying a meal there.
• Meal – Is there one meal you cook that your Senior is likely to miss the most? Take a picture of the completed dish, the teen enjoying it, and maybe jot the recipe on a notecard.
• Video Game – What game does he play online with his friends? Can you snap a photo of him deep in play?
• Actor or actress – Is there a movie or TV star that your teen particularly admires? (Jennifer was a David Cassidy fan…shhh!)
• Books, Magazines – What does your teen read for fun?
• Outfits – Does your daughter have a special “go-to” outfit that she looks great in? Does your son wear the same old sweatshirt every day? Don’t forget to get a picture of them in that outfit.
• Teachers/classes – Jot down the names and subjects of her favorite teachers.
• College or pro sports team – Does your teen follow local (or not so local) college or pro teams? Do they go to the games? Wear the gear? Is there tailgating?
• What else is important in the day-to-day life of this young person?

Looking Back:

As you gather memories and photos of activities this month, think back to past years and collect some that will make a nice “Then and Now” contrast to current photos. What about…

• Halloween costumes, parties, parades
• Fall sports tournaments
• Fall music, art or drama events

What’s Happening This Month?

A list of events that may be occurring in your senior’s life this fall and ideas on how to capture the moments. As always, be aware of everyday photo opportunities, and consider jotting your own thoughts and feelings down on index cards or in a notebook.

• Halloween – How will your teen be celebrating Halloween? Does he or she dress up for school?  Is there a Halloween party? Can you get someone to share photos from the day with you?
• School Play – Has the play been cast? Have rehearsals and set building begun?
• College applications – continued from September How is this process going? Are the applications underway? Finished? Are they still making last minute college visits? Has there been any early news of acceptances? Be sure to save the acceptance packet, and maybe the rejection letters as well. (Someday they will be able to look at those with perspective.)
• Fall Sports – continued from September How is the season going? What is the win-loss record? Have you saved any newspaper clippings, game reports, state or city rankings? Are the tournament brackets out yet? If you missed them, you can search the website of your local paper and print the stories from there. Also, try the state sports website. For example, in Ohio, the Ohio High School Athletic Association maintains a website  http://www.ohsaa.org/ with information about all sanctioned sports. If you don’t have a tournament bracket you can print one and fill in the scores by hand as the tournament progresses.

Special of the Month:

Plan Ahead and Get Your Project on Our Busy Spring Calendar! 

Pay your deposit for your graduation book or poster project before December 31 and get a free second copy of the final product. (Up to $60 value.) Contact us today to get started.

Did you get started on collecting those memories yet? Congratulations! If you haven’t made any progress, check back to our August newsletter to get motivated and review our ideas for how to organize and store your photos and memories.

Another way to get the project off the ground is to ask for some help from the people who know your Senior best. Why not enlist one or more of your child’s friends to secretly help you gather photos from “kid only” events? If your senior is a boy, it can be very helpful to connect with a girl, since we have found they take more photos at school, parties and dances. (NOTE: If the friend offers to send Facebook photos, be sure to ask if they can send you the original file. When photos are uploaded to Facebook they are resized for faster display on computers, which means they will not be very high quality if you hope to print them or include them in a memory book.)

Also, don’t forget to save some of your own memories of this time. A deck of 3” by 5” index cards will do. If an occasion or conversation provokes a feeling of wistfulness or joy at the thought of graduation, write a brief sentence or two on a card and drop it in the file folder for this month.

Focus on…All About Me:

This month’s focus is creating a mini time capsule including the day to day details of the Senior’s life. You can do this unobtrusively by taking some photos when they are not at home, or not paying attention, which let’s face it can be most of the time for some teens. Here are some photo ideas:

Around the house:

• Outside of the house
• Senior’s room in its natural state, whether messy or clean
• The bathroom they use, also in its natural state
• The car they drive – if you can manage it, a photo of their car in the school parking lot is a fun remembrance for them.
• The wake they leave – Kristi always knew her son was home because his clothing, school supplies and shoes were strewn from the back door to the stairway leading up to his room. Maybe it’s aggravating, but you will kind of miss that reminder of their presence when it’s gone.  So before you tidy it up or call them downstairs to do it, snap a quick photo.
• A photo of your teen lounging in his or her favorite chair, talking on the phone, watching TV, playing video games, sleeping through the alarm,  

Personal Information – take a few minutes to jot down some personal information :

• Physical information, such as height, weight (if they’ll share it with you)
• Scan their driver’s license or school ID card

Looking Back:

As you gather memories and photos of activities this month, think back to past years.

• Was your Senior always involved in this sport? Do you have photos from past teams that would make a fun contrast to their grown up selves?
• What other Fall activities has your teen participated in in past years?
• Do you attend college or professional football games? Make sure to take some pictures there.

What’s Happening This Month?

A list of events that may be occurring in your senior’s life this month and ideas on how to capture the moments:

• SAT/ACT Tests: Photo on test day, save the entry ticket and the official score report
• College applications – List of schools with ranking in order of interest, write a memory about how you as parent feel about this step. Is the student taking control, resisting? Take a photo of the student completing applications, pressing “Submit” or dropping in the mailbox. Print and save the college essays. Save some of the mailings, or take a “collage” type photo of the brochures and catalogs spread out on a table.
• Fall Sports – Photo of player in uniform, a roster, program and schedule. Newspaper clippings. Snapshot of field/court/course, scoreboard/scorecard, a photo of the coach alone or with your child.
• Classes underway – Get a copy of their class schedule
• Parent/Meet the Teacher Night – The LAST one. Jot down a memory of your feelings on this night. How did you like the teachers? Save the papers they give you.
• Homecoming – Festivities, dance, dress
• Lunch menu – What does your Senior eat for lunch? Pack? School Lunch? Do they have free time on which they can leave campus? If you don’t know, ask, and jot it down on a note card and put it in your file box.

 Special of the Month: Two for One Scanning

Get a jump start on converting old photos, report cards or kid art to digital format with half price scanning. Get your materials to us by September 30 and get twice as many digitized.

Contact us today for more information

Read our past newsletters:

August

September

October

November

December

January

February

March

April

May

June

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